So, it’s been a while since I updated my blog. I suppose it would be best for me to start by apologizing to anyone who reads the blog for my tardiness.
As you’re all aware (I hope) 2020 has been a dumpster fire of a year. Similar to so many other people out there its been really tough on me. I don’t write nearly as much as I used to, nor do I paint, or do a lot of things I used to do. There have been more than a handful of days where the will to do anything just hasn’t been there.
This morning I came to realize that this malaise that I’ve been experiencing feels a lot like the depression and anxiety I used to feel in my youth. This new depression, this quarantine depression, is difficult to navigate. Some days it’s not so bad. Some days I get up and I feel okay. I feel like I can go out and get things done. Then the reality hits that I really shouldn’t.
But things are getting better.
It’s been said a hundred times so far. We’re navigating a landscape that is new and foreign to most of us. For my part, I miss going to class on campus. I miss seeing my friends and interacting with my Professors (some of whom I would also consider friends). I miss going to the movies and the comic book store, and–and–and…
We’re doing the right thing. I know this. But I’m frustrated and worried. Before the pandemic started I was poised to get a co-op job for the summer. This position, wherever it might have been at, would have paid for my education for a year, if not two years. Working would be alleviated much of the stress I feel during the school year. While some of the opportunities are still available, most are not.
That all being said, I have always been the type of person who has an irrational, unfounded belief in balance. Ever since I was a child I believed that the world worked on a system of ups and downs, and that each time something bad happened, something equally good must as well. Logically I know this isn’t true. It’s not scientific and there’s no way my belief could be grounded in reality, but it makes me feel better.
Right now feels like shit. Tomorrow will hopefully feel better. Here’s to the balance and to getting the world back where we want it to be.